Monday, September 24, 2012

Planning a marriage

Shockingly, the wedding is only one day. The marriage is meant to last quite a lot longer. So why do we put far more time and effort into the wedding than the marriage?

Now that all the big wedding decisions are made, we're trying to focus on our relationship/marriage. We're not going for actual premarital counselling (although might still consider it), but we are having dinner twice a month where we talk about an area of our relationship and how we can improve it. We had a fairly successful discussion about money, and a slightly less successful chat about communicating better. This is definitely the area we need to work on the most, but I think that's probably true for most couples! We did have a minor breakthrough the other day, when Gadget pointed out that we only disagree about the small stuff, and we communicate pretty well about important things. It shocked me when I realised he was right - why is that?

I got a Relate book from the library which has relationship 'exercises' in. Some of them sound silly, but they may give us something useful to work on. We're both fairly aware of our own flaws, but this doesn't mean we shouldn't discuss them and try and work on them.

Unfortunately the book is quite hard to read, and there's a lot of words to get through before the exercises make sense. I might look for a different book, or just look for exercises online. I think the "I feel blank" exercise might work for me, as I often get frustrated not knowing what's in his head, but I'm not sure if it will help him too. Anyone else tried counselling or relationship exercises? I'd love to hear what worked and what didn't!

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