Get out of my swimming pool!

Seriously. If you want to swim in it, that's fine. But if your idea of swimming involves large amounts of splashing and generally looking like you're drowning, or worse still standing in the shallow section talking, then GET OUT!! You are interfering with my plan to get (wedding day) fit.

We are very lucky living in Auckland. Most apartment blocks have a pool in them, and ours has big glass panels which allow you to look at the bright blue sky as you swim. Mostly there's no one else in it, and it's free - bonus.

Which just means when it is full of idiots (as it was when I went down today), I get a bit annoyed. I actually turned round and came back again this morning, it was so bad.

Luckily two hours later there was only one drowning person, and two chatters. I suppose I can deal with that.

Not that my w-day fitness plan is exactly on track. I did well for the two weeks of gym membership, but I've been tired and headachy recently (I need a holiday) which has given me the perfect excuse not to exercise. Until my mum pointed out that I'll be picking up my dress at the beginning of december, so I can't lose any weight after november. That changes the timescale slightly!

Outfits for the boys

I'm going to have two page boys at the wedding - not because page boys are essential, but because the two boys are an important part of my life, and I wanted to recognise that at the wedding. It gives me a chance to look at some really cute outfits though - I've got ideas about waistcoat and trouser suits from next, with ties to match the men, and maybe sneakers instead of proper shoes. Something like this:

Image from Andrew Scott Clarke via love my dress

How cute is the little one on the right with the bright blue shoes?! It seems that a lot of places don't do suits for 2 year olds though, or if they do they're not the same as the older boys' suits. I've managed to find a lilac shirt/grey waistcoat/trouser combo for £34 from Next, or Matalan have grey suits for £30-£35 that start from age/size 18months (check them out on Pinterest). I also love the ideas on this blog, written by a fellow North Yorkshire bride.

The eldest will be happy as long as he's wearing the same as his heroes - his Uncle G (my dad), Gagdet and his Daddy. The little one will be happy as long as he gets to copy his big brother. I'm sure the clothes will end up less-than-clean/almost ruined (especially if we ask the Lodge to put the football nets up!), so I'm not prepared to spend a fortune. I feel a visit to the Next Clearance shop may be in order!

Outfits for the men

As I've spent the last three posts talking about my outfit, I thought it was time to turn the tables. Hope everyone had a good 4th of July? I love fireworks!

Gagdet's suit should be ready today - I'm really excited to see it, I have high hopes for him looking fab on the big day. He still needs a shirt and tie, and has decided to wear a waistcoat (so that he stands out from the other men). I can't see how a "traditional wedding waistcoat" (the kind you'd hire with your suit) is going to go with his slim fit merino wool pinstriped suit, but he disagrees. He thinks a cream satin waistcoat will work, but grey or navy won't. Hopefully once we have the suit it will be easier to work out what looks best!

We're asking the men in the wedding party (the dads and Gadget's brother/best man) to wear their own grey or black suit. We haven't decided what to do about shirts yet, but we'll be supplying ties and pocket squares for them all. It's proving tricky to find blue and purple ties, but we're working on that one!

This is the kind of thing I have in mind for the end result:

Image from Green Wedding Shoes

Gadget's suit is slightly darker than this, so we may need to go with a light coloured waistcoat, but the array of purple ties is fab!

The Dress - part 3

It's just occurred to me that I should have written a trilogy in four parts - my dad would appreciate that (so would Gadget, except he doesn't read this!). Maybe I'll think of a final instalment later...

My parents arrived at the end of March, and the big shopping day was set for April 5th. I'd had a final blast of inspiration from rock my wedding, plus reassurance from Jenny that it's a good idea to take your time finding the perfect dress!

I took both of my parents shopping with me. Many people (Dad included!) have been shocked/appalled/baffled by the thought of my dad going dress shopping, but he was much more analytical and specific than my mum (as we knew he would be; she was more emotional). We went back to Jenny's and Jessica Bridal, and they liked the Jessica dresses but not the Jenny's ones. They could see why I was having problems with the train - and also why I'd decided against a veil (they look ridiculous on me). My dad also said that some of the dresses were wearing me, and not the other way around. There was one in particular that my friend and I loved, and my dad hated (the word used was "yuk"). Clearly not the reaction I wanted!

So we went back to the dressmaker where I'd tried on my very first dress, and she's going to make my dress. It's inspired by one of the Jessica dresses and a second anonymous dress, but takes details from several different dresses so will be totally unique. This is where my mum's talents came to the fore - she used to make dresses quite often, and actually made my gown for my university Leaver's Ball, so she was able to talk technically with my dressmaker about the details. I can't tell you about the second dress as it gives too much away, but it contains elements from both of my grandma's wedding dresses and was the closest I came to having "the moment."

Here's what I will tell you. It's cream, has straps, some lace, and no train. I couldn't show you a picture even if I wanted to, as there isn't any! I'm more than a bit nervous about ordering a dress that I've never seen, let alone tried on, but I'm trying to have faith! It was also very reasonably priced, especially for a custom made gown (the Jessica dress was nearly twice as much).

The Dress - part 2

It took me about a month to recover from the first dress shopping day. I then had to start thinking clearly. I booked my friend for another dress day, and found two more places to try. One was on the North Shore and was hopeless. The next was in Newmarket and was recommended by a friend - Jenny's Bridal, who don't charge to try on on weekdays.

Jenny's had some gorgeous dresses, and the same pattern followed as before. I actually tried some strapless dresses, and was very relieved when they didn't suit me! The dresses that looked best were more detailed than I'd originally planned, but also they weren't ivory. Blush, antique gold and rich creams all looked much better - although that wasn't really a surprise to me.

My plan was to narrow things down before my parents came out to NZ. I could never buy a dress without my mum being there, and she was only here for 3 weeks. Due to everything we had planned, we had one day to find The Dress - so I needed to be organised!

Colour and cut were pretty much sorted, but I still didn't feel like I'd found the perfect dress. There was something not right, and it took me a while to identify it. What I was struggling with was this:

Images not credited as I feel that's unfair (each to their own remember), hence the odd cropping.

Nearly every wedding has as many pictures of the bride carrying her train as they do arty shots of the train spread out. Many of my friends have also had issues with the bustles on their dresses - meaning that they had to dance the night away with their dress over their arm. I did a quick opinion poll - it seems everyone loves a train. Except me.

The Dress - part 1

I've been delaying writing this post because I don't really know what to write! But, as the walrus said, the time has come...

I started the dress hunt wanting an elegant, simple dress with a halter neck in ivory. I wanted some detail on it, but wasn't quite sure what. The important things for me were the back of the dress - I had visions of a backless dress - and straps. It had to have straps - I've seen too many strapless dresses and really wanted something 'different.'

I didn't actually see many halter necks that I liked, but there were several strapped dresses that ticked all the other boxes. Like these from Benjamin Roberts and Ella by Essence:

So I started looking for dresses to try on. If I was in the UK I would probably have started with high street dresses, but that's not an option here. I started with a sample sale at a dressmaker's, and it was very weird looking at myself in the mirror. Some looked nice, but none were perfect. Then I found a dress shop in town that didn't charge a try-on fee, so I went there.

Felicity's Bridal were really nice. They stocked the Ella dresses, with my favourite being the one in the bottom right picture. They suggested how I could move the detail higher on the dress (which looked much better), and let us spend nearly two hours trying on about 15 dresses!

Then my awesome friend suggested over lunch that we needed to look somewhere else too. Jessica Bridal in Kingsland had an opening for that afternoon, only charged $40 for unlimited visits and had a sale on. That was where things got both interesting and confusing.

I tried some dresses similar to the Ella ones, but they also had some more unusual designs (they design some of the dresses themselves). The first dress I put on was 'just to look at the neckline' - but it turned out to be amazing. It was blush coloured, fitted perfectly (except in length) and had a lot of beading and sparkle details. It had a very vintage feel about it, and was totally not what I wanted - but it was by far the best dress I'd tried.

I tried a few more including two halter necks - they didn't look right at all. Then my friend did it again. I thought we'd finished when she picked out a dress and asked me to put it on. It was lacy - and it looked fantastic.

Having found two dresses with the 'wow' factor, we realised that none of the other dresses had had it. We had to go and find a bar after that so I could recover from the shock...

Modern day issues for decades of tradition

Today on love my dress, Annabel wrote this post about restrictions on photography in church. (It was actually yesterday, but the time zone thing is too confusing.) Whilst it isn't unique to churches (one of the photographers we contacted has had issues with registrars too) and I can completely see where it's come from, it is such a shame if a couple can't get the photographs they want. 


We're lucky - firstly, we were warned by our photographer that there was a risk of restrictions being imposed, and secondly our vicar has said anything is fine as long as they "don't get in the way." This sounds perfect to me. I don't want to be looking at or thinking about the camera in church, I want to be thinking about becoming husband and wife. But I want to see pictures of that moment afterwards. 


For me guests are a bigger issue than the professionals. Our photographer knows how a church service runs, and will have checked out the best places to stand, lighting etc before hand. She also knows how to use a camera - and that includes turning the flash off! I have lost count of the number of places we have been where flash photography is banned - there is always at least one idiot who can't manage this. At the Singapore Zoo night safari, they asked everyone to turn their flash off in seven (yes, 7) languages, told us twice that someone wouldn't - and several people still hadn't. This had led to other places banning photography entirely (such as the Blue Penguin colony in Oamaru, NZ) as it is a danger to the subjects (often nocturnal animals). 


The same is true of mobile phones/cell phones. There's always one going off somewhere, despite signs or announcements to turn them off. They are invariably loud and playing ridiculous tunes (I love a ridiculous ring tone - mine plays the theme tune to Fraggle Rock - but not at a wedding). If a phone rings during my wedding ceremony, its owner may find themselves going home hungry! A cautionary note to my guests - if you don't know how to work your technology, leave it in the car!!


This was quoted by one of the commenters on love my dress, and appears to originally be from Offbeat Bride. I think it's perfect:


We want you to be able to really enjoy our wedding day, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We've hired an amazing wedding photographer who will capture how the wedding looks - and we invite all of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels. We respectfully ask that everyone leave all cameras and cell phones off during the ceremony. We ask you to refrain so we can see your faces, and you can see ours, both now & forever in the photos that our photographer will capture. Of course we will be happy to share our photographs with you afterward!


Gadget, however, will think it's cheesy, so I've found him this alternative:


Ladies and gentlemen, prior to wedding take-off, all seat backs and tray tables must be in their upright and locked positions, all bags properly stowed, and all portable electronic devices turned off and stowed. This includes cell phones and cameras.


I think I might add the first to our wedsite and Order or Service sheets, and ask Father Nick to announce something similar to the latter before I arrive. There are some signs on OBB that you can use too, but I think Gadget might object if I label our wedding "unplugged!"