Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Deconstructing a wedding

Our priorities include a fun, lighthearted day, and doing things the way we want, not simply because that's how it's done. It turns out this is harder than we initially thought.

Some things are easy. I didn't want to wear "wedding shoes." So I didn't buy any; instead I bought vintage suede ones. But not everything has been that straightforward.

The most recent head-meets-brick-wall moment was about the speeches. We'd talked briefly about doing them before the meal, during the meal or after the meal. All have problems. Then I wondered why we were attaching the speeches to the meal? They can be done at any time after the ceremony - maybe as an introduction, or maybe with the cake cutting, or in the evening?

I also thought about our entrance, and realised I didn't want to make one. I don't want a receiving line, I just want them to say "dinner's ready," and we all wander in to eat.

I was excited. I brought it up with Gadget. He was fine with not making an entrance, as long as they announce us as Mr and Mrs for the first dance. But the speeches... he was too busy worrying about the logistics (what if everyone can't sit down?) to actually think about what he wants. It took quite a while for me to explain that yes, we have to sort out the logistics - second. After you decide what you want, as doing what you want is the most important thing.

I'm still not sure he's got it. He's a visual person; it may be that he won't be able to work this out until we actually see the venue in January. I'm ok with that, and I'm ok with the speeches being after the meal - as long as that's what we actually want rather than what is routine.

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