Saturday, May 5, 2012

Why has the start become the end?

A wedding is the start of a marriage, but for many brides it has become an ending. It ends the engagement period, where they eat, sleep and breathe weddings. All conversations and thoughts are related to the wedding, and hours of their lives are devoted to it.

And then it's gone. All over, in a day. Sure, there's a honeymoon to relax on, and then the photos to look at and thank you's to send. But what then?

That's when the "wedding blues" or "postnuptial depression" can kick in. According to this article, it's a combination of realising marriage isn't perfect, and not knowing what to do with all the spare time that isn't now devoted to the wedding. Basically, it's reality not living up to fantasy - and you're not exempt if you already live together.

Judging by this post, you're also not exempt if your post-wedding reality happens to look like many people's fantasy. This bride went on a round the world trip/honeymoon - and still found herself "lost."

Professional counsellors suggest preventative measures - scheduling events for after the honeymoon, and being prepared to become "we." We are hoping to buy a house shortly after the wedding, which will occupy some/most of the spare time, but we're also trying to prepare for our life together. So far all the 'living together' we've done has been fairly temporary (that's what happens when you run off to the other side of the world) - and I think we could be in for a shock when it becomes permanent. But forewarned is forearmed, right?

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