Thursday, May 31, 2012

A mother's favourite phrase: you're not everyone else!

As mentioned previously, everyone and their dog is likely to have an opinion on your wedding. Mainly your answer should be a noncommittal nod, and to ignore them completely. Some people will be harder to ignore than others, and some people may actually have valid points. But how do you sort through the crap  without going mad?

I have found two good thoughts in the book I'm reading (How I planned your wedding).
  • If your mother (or other similar wedding elf) does not go gentle into that good night, be sensitive. Your wedding is a big, emotional day for her too.
  • Put gratitude before attitude. 
What I take this to mean is that whilst it might be your day, it is an important day for a few other people too. If Great Aunt Mildred doesn't like your DJ, that doesn't matter. If your mother doesn't like your food, that might matter. If your bridesmaid doesn't like the dress you're asking her to wear, that does matter. You do not get to be a controlling bitch just because you are the bride. 

On the flip side, because you are the bride, you get the final say. 

Which leads me to my point. It's not a new point; wedding blogs and forums are full of comments about this. There will be plenty of people (either industry professionals or your nearest and dearest, and maybe even random acquaintances) who will tell you what you need to do, how you need to look and what is important. They are (almost all) wrong. YOUR MOTHER WAS RIGHT (it may pay to remind her of this!). You are not everyone else, and you don't have to do what everyone else is doing if you don't want to.

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